Some people should not procreate.

Its raining, Its pouring and I have plans for this afternoon. Its going to clear up because I said so along with Mike Thomas, and the 1000 people who are waiting to have some fun and celebrate our friend Brandon Minier who passed away over a year ago now. Its bands, food, beer, bounce houses, raffles, fireworks. You know, all that good stuff that makes summer what it is and makes you all happy. Brandon would love it and we're all loving it for him. It WILL stop raining, do you hear me?  You wish you were coming too, right? I don't blame you.

This year all the money raised will go to Brandon's kids education fund and Piggy Bank Pals. You should know a little about Piggy Bank Pals because I want to brag on this kid and see him go national.  Jackson Longenbaugh is my friend's son. He's 9 years old and started this amazing project when he was in the first grade. He was watching that show where the people go and help a family that needs a new house. I honestly do NOT know the name because I don't watch that much television, but his little heart broke. He went to his room, grabbed his bank, and wanted to send them all his money because he is an AWESOME kid like that. Long story short, Jackson asked his friends at school to donate change from their piggy banks to help a local family who needed some extra money. A group of first graders raised around $200 and the Community Foundation caught wind of the project. They had piggy banks made that went out to all the second graders in the school system the following year.  He started the ball rolling on teach kids how to care for other kids. Props to you Jackson for having a huge heart!

So, we're all getting together to help love on Brandon and April's kids today and to have fun. I told you before that I've been excited about this forever because last year (the first year) was so much fun. That's what people do, isn't it? Help the people around them. Even if its picking up their newspaper or calling the police when something cRaZy weird seems like its going down? You would think that would be common sense. Apparently not. Check this out...

Click here, read then make sure to watch the clip.

My blood is boiling. First of all, my four year old isn't even breaking forty pounds yet. Granted, he is small but he's been potty trained for two years and off a bottle since he was eight months old. (OK, that's kind of early but he didn't like bottles.) Secondly, my ten year old is off the charts tall and stocky and he only weighs 105. Issue number one: WHAT THE HELL ARE THESE KIDS EATING??

 The house is almost condemnable with lice, roaches, pee everywhere, mold and God knows what else, shouldn't these kids be malnourished and skinny? I don't even want to THINK about what they have ingested or seen. 

The "neighbors" had been noticing that it was a little stinky around the house. It smelled like pee and mold. Hmmm. I know two little girls live in there who CAN BARELY WALK OR SPEAK maybe I should call social services.... Nah.

Issue number two: IGNORING THE FACT THAT THEY CAN'T WALK OR SPEAK IS BAD ENOUGH BUT YOU IGNORED THE PISS AND MOLD SMELL. Shame on the "neighbors". 

Spider bites, lice that have built nests and are able to be seen crawling around on a little girls head, and urine soaked mattresses are inexcusable to even blind and deaf parents. Let alone the lazy ass ones that never bothered to potty train, much less change their four year old's diaper. When the news crew asked "Mom" whether she thought the girls were mistreated, she had some smug look on her face and said, "No." 

Issue number three: SHE AND HER HUSBAND ARE OUT ON BOND.

 Hell no! So help me if they give those two little girls back to the man and woman who happened to be able to conceive them I will drive to Georgia and fight to adopt them. I don't know where they will sleep right now, but I'll figure it out. That is so insanely wrong I can't even believe its a possibility, but you know it is. After all, they are the parents. -_-

Ok, back to where I started, Brandanza. Its still raining and I'm still going. Everyone else will still go. Bands will still play, and we'll still drink our beer and eat a dead pig and have a great time. We'll celebrate a great dad and friend and son and uncle and all the things that Brandon was because people should do that. They should take care of each other and make sure everyone knows that someone has their back. I hope that those two little girls in Georgia know that the same goes for them.

-End Rant-

I don't have a question today. Sorry, I'll make one up.  What are your plans for this Saturday night? Anything fun? If not and you're local, come to Port Side Pizza and hang out with meeeee!

What have you done?!

Nothing. I mean absolutely NOTHING, that's what I've done. Well, I did download a trial of Photo shop and play with it trying to make a banner for this blog, and I did talk to the lovely @ShakeItMJ for awhile, and change Miss One's entire outfit three times before 9:30 this morning, but other than that, I have been a piece of crap.

So, I'm sitting here with my iced coffee feeling the overwhelming urge to take a little nap. I plan on continuing to be a piece of crap all day long because when my kids wake up, I'm taking them to swim while I lay in the sun. I'll come home, order some pizza, enjoy some w(h)ine time and let Miss. 7 play spa for awhile.  God bless her sweet little heart, she loves to brush my hair and give me back rubs. They aren't great, but I will never ever complain. Practice makes perfect after all.

Don't laugh. I'm going to live to be very, very old because of this and cnn.com agrees with me. Check out this article I found a few minutes ago.

America's Healthiest Pleasures: 10 'vices' That are Good for You.

If you're feeling a little too lazy to click the link, I'll give you a quick summary. After all, who am I to say anything about being lazy today.

1. Sleep. Do it a lot. It can't hurt at all and it will make you healthier, smarter, and skinnier. (This actually explains a lot. I love to sleep but don't do it all that much because that would cut into my alone time.)

2. Skip work or School.  No joke. Take a day or two or 3 or all two weeks OFF! Its good for you. I can't remember off the top of my head if it was a book or a movie where I heard this rule, but we have it at my house. You get vacation days at work. My kids get 1 day a tri-mester to take off school for "personal reasons."  Everyone needs a vacation. I firmly believe this and would vacation my life away if I could afford it.

      3. Have sex. Lots and lots of sex. *CAUTION: Sex causes babies. I have 4. I know this.

      4. Eat chocolate.  It has anti-oxidants and its good for your heart and mood in my opinion. The darker the                    better.

      5. Go out with the girls or guys as the case may be. As if we didn't already know that G.N.O. was an absolute necessity. 

    6.  Full Fat Dressing. Praise Jesus and eat the Blue Cheese! Alright, it doesn't really say that. It says to eat salmon and tuna which is making me hungry. I had a frozen chicken nugget and some peanut butter for lunch. 

    7.  Coffee. Since I drink about a pot a day I think I've probably lost the benefit of this liquid gift from God. It says 2 cups a day. I say as much as it takes to keep up with your 4 year old son.

   8.  Spring for the massage. Basically it just says to have people touch you but that just sounds creepy and I'm not one of those touchy feeley types. I do love massages though and could actually use a really good hot stone or Swedish massage right now.

    9.  Lay out. With sunscreen. Sunshine is good for the soul; I'm a firm believe in that. Just remember that if you don't use that zit causing sunscreen, you'll look like an old suitcase in 15 years.

10.  Wine with dinner. Well, duh. Why do you think we have w(h)ine time. 

I feel better. How about you? Too bad eating spoon fulls of peanut butter and tweeting while hanging out in the TS chat room weren't on that list. I would be set. Here it comes, question of the day...

What is your biggest guilty pleasure? 

The Greenest little Conspiracy Theorist on the block.

During this mornings date with Handy Manny, I drug my laptop into the den to check the news. I refuse to watch news channels because I hate to hear about all the miscellaneous crap that is going down all over the world without a hint of anything good. I always get my news from CNN or MSN or AOL or wherever I happen to be surfing for the day.  Maybe I should have actually tuned in to the Matt Lauer Happy Hour because this is the first article I saw.

EPA May Give First Approval for Nanosilver for Fabrics

For those of you who don't know what Nanosilver is, its lovely little concoction that keeps you from smelling like my brother's high school tennis shoes. Apparently scientists are thinking this would be perfect for shirts, socks, jogging outfits, camping clothing and ... wait for it.... underwear. My first thought was, that the EPA had lost their minds to add some more random chemicals to things when I'm big on anti-chemicaling things at my house. (No, chemicaling wasn't a word until I just made it up. Now its a word.) Reading on, I got to the part where they were going to put this stuff on my underwear. Now, I'm not sure about you but if I ever get to the point where I need to wear the same underwear for a week, I've got other issues to deal with. Like, the fact that I'm lost in the mountains or my house has been taken away by a natural disaster. Even in that case I'm sure the Red Cross will bring me fresh panties.

I live under the assumption that we have plenty of chemicals floating in what we eat or drink already. I make sure my kids get their weekly dose of God knows what by feeding them Happy Meals, frozen novelties and letting them swim in highly chlorinated swimming pools. I make sure to dye my hair every 6 weeks and enjoy a Twinkie at least twice a year which I'm sure is sufficient with their eternal shelf life. That being said, storing Nanosilver in my clothing isn't something I'm going to add to my list of daily toxins.

I mentioned a couple of days ago that I've got chickens. This was something that I kind of joked about for a year before we actually got these guys.  Maybe I should have kept that little idea to myself because the hubs caught it, built Chicken Disney in my back yard, and came home with 10 egg chickens and 40 meat chickens.

The 9 remaining egg chickens should start being productive any day now. We've had them for a long time and I can honestly say that they are fun to watch and they keep the toddlers entertained for hours. They lock themselves in the pen with them and play tag. I should post a video. I'm not sure if the chickens are more freaked or the kids when they flap their wings at their little heads.  

Then meat chickens are delicious.

I also mentioned yesterday that I froze tomatoes. Don't be too impressed with this. I couldn't can anything without exposing my family to some kind of intestinal trauma or death so freezing is my only option. I have a garden that gave me enough cucumbers to feed, or at least hydrate, Africa for a year and tomatoes that will still be turning red in November. It was eat them until my mouth bleeds from multiple canker sores, or find a way to save them. Kenny (the hubs) doesn't believe in throwing away food. We now have a freezer full of chicken and tomatoes. I feel like the greenest thing this side of the Jolly Green Giant. 

Back to the EPA or the FDA or whoever else is going to decide what will and won't kill me.  I'm not buying it. Not one little bit. I'm no scientist, but anything that keeps me from smelling like rotten cheese that allows me to wear the same socks and panties for a week is probably just enabling people not to shower. Please stop tossing random stuff at me and lets keep it simple stupid(s). I already can't eat NutraSweet even though you swear its safe. I'm don't believe that magical anti-stink silver is safe any more than the millions of other Greenies that are questioning things. 

Oh and as a side note, I don't want to deal with hormonal 9 year old girls so taking the hormones out of milk would also be nice. Miss 7 is dramatic enough without hitting puberty in the next year.  

Ooo, I'm starting to sound like a honest to goodness tree-hugger now. I'm kind of proud of myself.  Hey, if you agree with any of this and want to green up just enough to feel like you're helping your family or just to be a passenger on the Green is Good train, you should checkout this book. I love it. It has lots and lots of pictures and simple ideas that you can do whether you live in a big city or out in the middle of nowhere. I've already planted an apple tree that has yet to give me one stinking apple. It tried but it just shriveled up and died before I could actually eat it. There are these little potted blueberry bushes that are on my list too. I've got the heaped up compost box thanks to the mountains of chicken shit and tomatoes.  You know whats on my list next... a windmill!! 

I will be the gawk stop of the tri-county area with one of those giant metal atrocities in my back yard and I'm looking forward to it. Seriously, my house will be like that movie Field Of Dreams but people will drive by to see a common place item instead of dead baseball players. I'm thinking of selling cucumbers, eggs and tomatoes as refreshments.  Come on by, I also serve wine and margaritas on Fridays.

So, my question of the day for you is, 

What are you doing that's green and what do you refuse to do? 

Allow me to introduce...

Cheese Stick Meltdown + 5:15 + snapping green beans for dinner  = 

W(h)ine Time.

Hey, it happens. Not everyday but when you're trying to make dinner and 4 little people are screaming at you, you do what it takes to survive. Thats why we have w(h)ine time. They whine, I wine and voila!  Dinner in 1/2 and hour. You will survive and so will they.

All Dressed Up and Nowhere to Go

This morning I took my freshly dyed hair, subjected it to another visit by my best friend the flat iron, put on make up and actual clothes, and even checked out my butt in the mirror. "Come on guys, we have to go return this movie." That right. I got dressed and looking decent to drive the 5 miles to town just to return a video. To most people, this wouldn't be a big deal because, lets be honest, most people get up, shower, dress and have a day. That used to be my routine too but in the last year or so, I have spent more time in pajama pants than I care to admit. Hey, they're comfy and if I'm not going anywhere, why not wear them all day long? Somewhere in this new, jobless state, I  have gotten a little focus. Here comes the oxymoron part: I have nothing to focus on! See how it goes - you give me a part time job that rocks, and I'm a mental disaster. Take it away and suddenly I'm up, dressed, and wearing pearls to the damn video store!

So, here's what I have actually done in the past two days that I would have put off for as long as possible in the past. I have:

1. Worn actual clothes for 3 days straight! 
2. Cleaned and disinfected my house.
3. Frozen tomatoes for chili and sauces over the winter.
4. Started a blog and actually read a book on how to blog (don't laugh).
5. Considered running for school board.
6. Called about the committee I'm supposed to be chairing but have heard nothing about. 
7. Given myself a pedicure
8. Watched Handy Manny 2 days in a row.
9. Taken the toddlers to Target and to the video store.

Go ahead and make fun but I'm telling you that's HUGE for me!

Ok, before you think I'm completely psychotic, I think I'd better explain number five. I have thought about running for school board for a long time. You see that building right up there ^^ ?? That's my former high school. It was also my dad's former high school. Not to say my dad is old or that there aren't older buildings in use as schools, but my kid's elementary school is 10 years old. The middle school is maybe 15. The high school is an antiquated at best. It flooded a foot deep over the summer, has suffered a rat infestation a couple of years ago, it lacks the wiring and ability to be wired for technology that is up and coming. It uses window AC units and has mold issues. I spent 10 years teaching and watching my kids grow up with this inner panic on what their educational experience will be like when they get into that building. If finally dawned on me that if I don't have a "job", (and I do - I raise 4 kids!) and if I can get dressed up to return a video, I could probably do something else too. I will keep this idea in the consideration pile for now. 

Secret confession: I'm a swim mom. Right now my kids have to swim at the Y which is all well and good but there isn't enough pool space, deck space or practice time to support 3 high schools, 3 middle schools and a Y team and a USA team. I want a high school with a pool but if I use that as my running platform, I'll never be on school board. And, I know that is very, very secondary to an education, but still... I want a pool!

Alright, I'm starting to ramble on about things now and there are pearl earrings in my ears that are just dying to put the laundry away, collect eggs and pick weeds. So, I'll put this out there for you; If you quit your job and suddenly had all the time in the world to focus on your kids and your corner of the world, what would you do? 

. 

First day of school! First Day of school! Come on, say it like Nemo!

That's right, its that time of year again. Time to whip the kiddies into shape, get them back on a schedule and save the sanity of mothers across the nation. Its back to school time. I rolled out of bed before 7:00 this morning for what seems like the first time in forever to get the 4th grader and 2nd grader smelling and looking presentable, with a semi-full stomach, and out to the bus by 7:15. Mission accomplished. I was feeling like champion mom since it had gone off without a lost shoe, book bag or argument until I pulled up my Facebook page and noticed that I am, apparently, one of the only moms in the area who never thought of taking a picture of my little darlings before sending them out the door. We'll call this little guilt session Failure #1. Someone remind to get one when they get home, please.

To make up for that mild indiscretion, I decided that coffee with Mr. 4 and Handy Manny snuggle time was in order. I'll never complain about one on one time with Gavin. He keeps things real and interesting by ad-libbing in things like, "Tools can't talk", "You make my heart go pitter pat because I wuv you", and "Bob the Builder is a better worker guy than Handy Manny". Things were perfect. The house was quiet, I had one sleeping toddler and one happy preschooler, the sun was shining, birds were chirping, roosters crowing (Yes, I have roosters - and hens at that.), the humidity was below 70%: today was a day of miracles! Obviously, nothing could go wrong; it was time to take these two little darlings to Target. Cue Failure #2.

Shower - check. Clean diaper on Miss 1 - check. Shoes on feet - check. Perfectly straightened curls that won't come back - check! Utopian brain - check. My first red flag on the way to the closest Target store, which is 25 minutes from home should have been when Mr. 4 asked how long until we get there. I blew him off and turned up the movie promising cheeseburgers and chocolate milk for well behaved kids.  Today was perfect, it was bound to be all the inspiration he needed. After 15 minutes of driving the next red flag came. It was attached to the "I don't want a book, I want a to get out of here!" rocket. We dodged the rocket with our cheeseburger defense system and continued on the gym shoes and books quest.

"Ooo, the have lots of cool stuff in this place"! That's right. Its a perfect day! We're in Target and my adorable children are smiling and waving to customers commenting on the shirt that I should buy. That when we pass ... wait for it.... Spiderman tennis shoes. Saying absolutely NOT to Spiderman tennis shoes is Failure #3 for both Gavin and me. From there it was a downward spiral to shopping cart jumping, begging, pleading and tantrums all performed by both my children and myself.

What was I thinking?? Its the first day of school and I sent the two self-reliant easy to shop with kids to school and took the toddler and preschool with me!? Why are you crying?! Why can't you sit in the cart?! I swear if you don't stop asking for those shoes you're not getting the cheeseburger either! Forget the cheeseburger, you're having PB&J! Forget lunch you can just go to bed! GAH! Its time to get out of here.... *end rant*

Here it comes, Failure #4. Oh yes, there's more. Apparently I'm not a fast learner. We went to McDonald's which is a parenting no-no in multiple ways. Not only did I give in because he pulled it together just enough to get out of the store alive, but I was really thirsty from the previously described rant and wrestling match that had taken place, and guess what, he had to go potty. So we went inside. After a delightfully repulsive lunch of cheeseburgers, apple dippers and chocolate milk I made the mistake of saying, "If you eat all your apples, I'll get you a cookie before we leave". We left without cookies.

Aaah, but that's all in the past now. Its 2:15 and the house is quiet again. Miss 1 is napping, Mr. 4 is watching a movie and will hopefully sleep for just long enough to make it through dinner while still going to bed at a decent time tonight.  The 4th and 2nd graders will be off the bus in half an hour and I got to some time to write and regroup before w(h)ine time begins promptly at 5:00. (That is for a different blog. If you don't know about w(h)ine time, you're missing out.)

Letter of resignation = Enter the poor house.

8/16/2010

Ok, so I finally did it. I worked at the same place for 8 1/2 years with 4 girls who are my best friends and I quit. I made good money, only worked a super-flexible 2 days a week and I QUIT! Am I crazy? Yes, but that was never the question. Am I poor? No, but I will be if I don't stay off the damn online shopping sites that call my name during nap time. What's my plan? I'll tell you - its to hang out with my two youngest kids, coach swim team for my 2 oldest kids and to enjoy life again without worrying about where they will get off the bus, if they'll throw up at school, and who will cover me at work. I'm going to do pre-school parties and field trips (God help me, I hate those things.). I'm going to have a clean house with a freshly painted kitchen and a darling little girl's bedroom. I'm going to get my focus back and enjoy life. I'm going to blog.

Thats the plan anyway. Over the course of this journey that I haven't been on since my oldest baby was little you'll learn about what it means to be a 34 year old mother of four who is stuck in the mid west with her amazing family, but is an island girl at heart. I'm not Conservative, but then again, I'm not Liberal. I'm not a crazy Bible beating Christian, but I love Jesus - don't worry, I'm not shoving anything down your throat. Take it or leave it.  I hate public school mentality and politics, but refuse to pay to send my kids to private school. You're about to learn about my mind as a giant scrambled oxymoron.

So, as a first blog entry, I'm going to leave you with the expectation that you'll challenge me to write what I really think and not pussy foot around my softer side of my brain. That comes with a big red flag of warning just so you know. Ask me questions, tell me I'm wrong, just be ready to back up your opinions. I hope this will be something that you will love reading and I will love writing.