Then and Now

Since 7:30 this morning I have been trying to take the events of the day and sum them up into a nice neat package that I could present to you all. I started by pouring my first cup of coffee and sitting down to catch up on the "news" on Twitter. Its what I do every morning. Coffee, blogs and twitter with Mr. 4 and Handy Manny. There wasn't anything strange out this Saturday morning. It was rainy and chilly and pretty quiet for a house with four kids running around; then the tweets started coming through and I remembered the date. Today is September 11, 2010.

Its happened every year for the last nine years. I remember where I was standing, how my heart felt like it would stop beating then explode from my chest at the same time. I remember the panic of not feeling safe anywhere. I remember the sobbing and the nightmares, the flags, the eerily empty and quiet night skies. I remember the look on my dad's face and the way he watched things unfold in the days that followed. I saw him cry, and desperately try to help. I held my baby a little tighter and prayed a little harder. I could give you the play back, but we all have that. We know how it looked - we've seen it over, and over and over again. I don't need to paint you a picture that you already own because whether you live in Manhattan, Indiana, Canada, Australia, or Japan, you've seen the pictures. You've heard the story and you know where you were. It shaped the world. It shaped each of us and is embedded in our lives forever.

Ryan was fifteen months old when the planes flew into the Twin Towers. He has absolutely no recollection of a life different than it is now. He lived through it and came out blissfully unaware of the chaos and uncertainty that followed that day. As I sat at my computer and cried over a video and the stories I read this morning, he only knew that once upon a time, there was a day called September 11th and something happened. He doesn't remember a time when this world felt any different and I started thinking, I don't remember anymore either.

That's not completely true. I remember not having to take off my shoes at the airport and not thinking that the Sears Tower could come crashing down if some maniac jackass decides he wants to take it.  (Its called some other stupid name now, but to me, its the Sears Tower. I refuse to change that.) Its been nine years and we have lived our lives much the same way but with a new layer of fear on top of things. We see things differently, trust things either more or less. We hope and love on an entirely different plane than we ever did before 9/11.

We saw this country come together when it should have fallen apart. We learned to love better. To work together. We learned what was really important, how to share, how to care and how to let things go. While I think it is imperative that we never forget what happened and what we lost, I think it is equally import to remember what we gained.

105

20+31+30+24 = 105. That is 105 days left before Christmas. Let the excitement and terror begin. Take of the 24 and the week and a half in November following Thanksgiving and that is how many shopping days I have left because I flat out refuse to go to the mall during insanity season. Its over crowded, over heated and full of those people that walk really slowly right down the middle of the aisle pushing a baby stroller with one hand and their other hand in their boy friend's back pocket. The only way you'll find me at the mall after Thanksgiving Eve is if I'm there strictly to people watch or help someone else.

That's 105 days to decide what to buy for 20 people, plus teacher gifts, coaches gifts, Christmas cards and the four birthdays and one wedding that are stuck in there as well. (Not counting mine.) That's fifteen people with one gift and five  people with more than one gift just in Christmas gifts. So far, I have one present purchased. That's it. Just one! I have a long way to go and not much room to wiggle in the banking department so I'm going to be thrifty and green this year... well, sort of thrifty and green. Here's the plan.

What? WAIT!! Why am I writing a Christmas blog before Halloween???? Oh wait, because that's the way my brain works. Sorry.... but only a little... deal with it.

I've been talking to my mom and my sister-in-law a little bit about less stuff and more experiences. My house has been comparable to Toys R'Us  at some points in time and is just finally getting to a more acceptable level of toys. Don't get me wrong, we still have far too many, but I'm working on keeping the levels lower than in the past. Its easier with the two older kids, they want smaller stuff. Things like DS and Wii games. But it seems to me that the smaller you are, the bigger your toys. Miss 2 and Mr. 4 are all kitchens and tool benches and giant slides and bikes and GAH!!! Its everywhere!!!

I'm starting the toy evacuation process all over again next weekend. Every year at least once, sometimes twice, I do this. I tell the kiddos to gather up the things they don't want or don't play with and toss them in a pile.  We have a garage sale and they get the money for their toys which usually results in the loss of five or six things to buy one new thing. Its a fair trade in my book.  (I usually sneak in while they are at school and just start snatching things while they are unaware. Shhhh. My mom did that to me and took my Care Bears. I will NEVER forgive her!!!) Garage Sale toy evacuation is STEP 1.

Step 2. I'm going to try to buy most of my things online and through Ebates. I can get a lot of things by linking through that website and then in February I get a big fat check to spend on whatever I want! I usually blow it on a new shirt or Starbucks so BONUS FOR ME! If the website doesn't link through Ebates, I'm going to search for coupon codes and, as a last resort, go to an actual store. I'm figuring this is sort of green since the UPS guy is already out driving around and I don't have to drive to Fort Wayne to shop. Its also thrifty because I'm paying for my Starbucks buy buying things for Christmas.

Step 3. Experiences over stuff. My kids have never ever been toy kids. They ask for things and rarely play with more than one or two things. Well, except Erin. She loves her babies and kitchen and things. They see commercials and are sucked in instantly. Nicely done marketing geniuses of the world. I have had a three gift rule for my kids for several years. Jesus got three gifts and so do you. No more. Unfortunately, that gift doesn't hold for Santa or grandparents. Its three from us, some from Santa, more from Grandma, more from Nanna, more from Mimi.... Soon, its a sea of insanity! This year, I'm going to encourage my kids to ask for museum passes, zoo memberships, movie tickets and things like that.

Step 4. I'm going to TRY to carry over this idea to the adults in my life too. Why should I go out and rack my brain to find the perfect thing for the person who has everything when firstly, far too many people have nothing and secondly, I'm on the experience train! OK, here it is the great adult gift idea.

Shop World Vision's gift catalog! It seems kind of whacked, but giving someone a virtual goat for Christmas is uber cool in my opinion. They also have a well, a chicken, a duck, a cow, assistance to a sexually exploited girl, etc. Its fantastic! If you're still driven to have a box to wrap up, you can find an ornament that will remind them how much they are loving on someone else this Christmas.  There are restaurant gift certificates, personalized gifts for free child care, dinner once a week for a month, house cleaning, and movies. I'm going to attempt to use my imagination and not my credit card so much this year. This isn't the first year I have said I would do this and failed, but this year, I'm REALLY going to TRY to do this... after Halloween of course. 

I am a blabber mouth, thats how.

The other night Kenny and I were talking and he asked me if I was going to run out of things to talk about. The answer is no. I can talk about pretty much anything if the mood strikes me. Take that as your warning for this post.  When I run out of craziness in my day - which is guaranteed NOT to happen with four kids, one husband, one dog, one cat and 14 chickens, or if I'm just pulling a blank, I can always count on some other dumb ass to step up and fuel the fire.  I mean that - check out the news. The world is full of idiots and in the immortal words of Jimmy Buffett, "There's no dumb ass vaccine".

Now, since I told you I can talk about anything, my question to you today is this. What do you want to know? Is there anything you want me to blog about? Anything you're curious about?  Let me have it. Now is your chance!


See what I mean....

True Confessions.

This was my Facebook status for the day:

So apparently you can't buy pumpkin in a can anymore.... that's just freaking great.

Amazingly enough, that status has stirred a whirlwind of replies and likes in Facebook and Twitter land. I love it, and I mean it when I say how utterly frustrating not having canned pumpkin at my fingertips is. I'll admit it. My name is Megan Devito, and I'm a pumpkinaholic and so are a lot of other people. The sky is that deeper shade of blue that comes with fall and the wind is a cool and crisp. It time for pumpkin cake, pumpkin soup, pumpkin cookies, pumpkin pie... you know. I may just be the Bubba Gump of pumpkin. Due to my insatiable need for that fat round gourd, I will be forced to put on my greenie pants and actually cook a real pumpkin myself.  You can add this to the list of things that I don't really know how to do. I was briefly schooled by my pumpkin cooking phenom of a sister-in-law yesterday so I'm going to give it  a shot.

Now, that we've covered how I will be spending my Friday night, lets get to the point of this little entry: Facebook and my love/hate relationship with that site. Facebook and I have had a long on and off again relationship that is sure to end badly.  My view of Facebook is simply this: its supposed to be fun. It supposed to be stress free and a great way to catch up with friends. Often times it is just that... often times it is not. Facebook used to be my Internet drug of choice. I loved it and hung out there, stalked pictures, played games, commented, liked and saved the environment one Little Green Patch at a time. That's when I noticed that Facebook was NOT fun anymore. It had turned into a gossiping, over-analyzing, hypocritical nightmare. I would sign on and immediately wanted to sign off but I hung in there because old habits die hard. On top of my new disgust for all things Facebook, I had a new love and its name was Twitter.

Because I know that so many of my friends that are on Facebook aren't on Twitter, I'm going to explain the difference from my perspective.  I live in a small town. As with most small towns, rumors and assumptions are rampant. I had been accused of being suicidal and having an affair with a man named EDWARD CULLEN to my mother!!! That's right, people called my mom and told her they were afraid I was having an affair because I posted a status update saying I had a hot date with Edward tonight. (AKA - I'll be at home in my bed reading.) I'm not really sure if it saddens me more that someone would assume I'm stupid enough to post my extra-marital affairs as my Facebook status, or that they honestly don't know who Edward Cullen is. Either way, its an abomination.  I was PISSED and I got a nerve grinding lecture on cryptic status updates and what I was leading to people believe from my mom. (I love you mom, but give me some credit here...) Then, in my frustration, I mentioned in a status update that I would be shutting down my Facebook account. It wasn't 10 minutes and I had 15 replies screaming, Noooooo!!. Next status update: Hanging on by a thread.  Now, if you're following along, you know that I have already threatened to close my account. Fine, I'll keep it open for a few more days. (AKA - I'm hanging on by a thread.) Cue the suicide hot line phone calls to my mom saying that people are worried about me and my mental status. What? - That's Strike 2. I wasn't waiting for Strike 3, Facebook was over and out for almost 10 weeks after that.  I never missed it one time. It was liberating.

Now for Twitter... you should follow me by the way.

I am @thetameone. I used to be @kmdevito but that included Kenny who is the anti-Twitter. Plus, truth be told, I have a double life on Twitter. My @thetameone account is the Facebook me. Its my status updates and a lot of other things that I spout off to people both in Columbia City and around the world. It was my first account that allowed me to meet some amazing new friends from places like North Carolina, Canada, Australia and Arkansas. People like @shakeitmj @lisawhitesides @OMFG_its_Tami @MabesWife and @Thebadhousewife and @NessaTX to name only a few.  Its the account that I broadcast to my friends in family in town because its the me they want to see. Its the me that they see on Facebook. 

I also have another account that I don't broadcast. Its my gamer account because I play in two different RPGs but it is also my unedited account. Its where I sometimes get a little too real and a little too vocal. Its my account of choice to be quite honest. It not because I value my friendships in my hometown less than my friendships online. Not at all. I love my friends and will take a girl's night over the computer any day of the week, but that's not always practical. Its not because I'm living in some fantasy land where I can't separate fact from fiction. I have a very firm hold on what is real and what is not. That may be part of the problem. The reason that I love Twitter and that account is because I know that no one is going to pick apart what I say based on what I post. No one is going to call out the guard because I am having an affair with a fictional vampire... (Like it would be Edward, I'm an Emmett fan.)

I read an article on Facebook today (Stop those boneheaded Facebook comments) and got a good chuckle out of the honesty in what was being said. The best part ever was that I could click the Like button at the bottom of the article. I love the "Like" button. I have learned the hard way that posting topics to stir up some good discussion will come back to bite you in the ass so I don't do it anymore. I don't use Facebook for much more than an emailing tool. Its the easiest way I know of to get the word out and stay in touch with Nikki, Krista, Mindi, Meggan, Karen, etc.  I don't really check out the pictures anymore. I rarely update my status other than to post a funny video, my Project 365 or my blog.  I did a massive friend delete and started over. I'm guarded and I don't say much. I do however read a lot and like button a lot. I also #likebutton on Twitter. Its easier and it keeps me out of rehab and from divorce. 

So... here it is. A simple guide to Megan's FB responses and how to interpret them.

-_-   = I'm mad or I'm glaring at you = GRRRR

o.O  =  WTF - If you don't know what that means, Google it.  Also read, whoa or huuuh

o.o  =  No way!

O.O  = Holy shit!

:-P  = You're a dork

Final True Confession: This is the most nerve racking post I have ever written simply because I know it will be on Facebook and my friends will read it and I'm afraid they will take it out of context. It scarier than the Church Loser post which I was petrified of posting on Facebook as well. Just remember "real life" friends, I love you. I just don't like what Facebook does to people.

Disclaimer: I use the term real life friends loosely because I firmly believe you do not have to have met someone face to face to have them be your friend. 

Muchas Gracias

Today's post will be with Ramblings of a Texas Housewife because its Tuesday, of course. Check her out. And while you're at it, make sure to read...

Samantha Schoech's article  and Robyn Lee's article .  A sincere thank you for spreading some disgusting but valuable information.

             

I Can't Resist a Good Contest

I am posting this picture on GiveawayBlogs.com with the full expectation that everyone will ooo and aaaah over it the way I do. Make sure to check out these websites and to come vote for Erin and Poppy!

You can join and post your own pictures here and enter to win $100 and a 16 x 20 canvas of your prize winning picture. This will make the perfect present for my dad for Christmas!

http://www.giveawayblogs.com/
http://www.uprinting.com

Join and come vote.

Megan Devito

http://thetameone.blogspot.com

megandevito@aol.com

**This post is an entry to GiveawayBlogs.com Photo Contest

Snoxymoron

Schroeder was on to something.

Snoxymoron: A person who consistently changes her mind and tastes, her focus and priorities, contradicting herself at every opportunity while still preferring the fancy stuff over the average but feeling a need to be socially responsible. AKA - Megan

Last Friday I hit the outlets for the Labor Day sidewalk sale (GIANT greenie fail.) I went thinking I'd find some cute clearance clothes for the kiddos, but having no intentions and no money to shop. My mom was set to pick up the two youngest from the sitter's and the two oldest were set to get off the bus at her house. That's when the jingle of little bells was heard. "If you see something you want for your birthday, get it." Hellllooooo Coach outlet!! But, I'm jumping ahead of myself. I started at the GAP and didn't even make it inside the door before I had an entire outfit draped over my arm.

Please remember that I do not have a "job" per say. Well, I do, but it requires wiping snot and butts and tables and vacuuming and junk like that. Its very low paying with high rewards. Sadly, I can and often do this job in my pajamas all day long so the perfect cargo pants and Henley on my right arm were a waste of money. Like that was going to stop me from buying them - its a sale for crying out loud - 50% off! OK, inside the store.  Miss 2 needed some new duds - she's still growing fast and then there is Miss 7 who is having a birthday in a month and needs those cute boots. And a long sleeve black t-shirt is a MUST for anyone who deals with snot all day. I had to have that too. All in all, the GAP sale put a sizable dent in my credit card but was still a breathable event. They were basics, and they were on sale, and surely some of it could be used as a birthday gift if I could hold off on giving them the stuff for awhile.

Exit the GAP, turn left toward COACH. God help me that store smells delicious! I must tell you that I was never ever an expensive purse girl until last Christmas. I blame my mom.  I have four kids and the last thing I can bring myself to spend money on is a COACH purse... except maybe that black one. *Eyes pop* Whoa... that thing is beautiful and that 20% off coupon in my hand is hot and ready to go. (Side note: I misspelled coupon in the 7th grade spelling bee... I've never misspelled it since.) The nice sales man followed me from purse to purse, calculator in hand to help me find the perfect one that I didn't mind choking over. It all boiled down to $150 and this.

 They wrapped it up while I squirted on some perfume that was bound to give me a sore throat and I was on my way with a hot new purse and a feeling of both exuberance and guilt that was making my head spin.

I shopped on hitting up Gymboree for an overpriced bee costume that I couldn't pass up, and then did lunch. Portabella mushroom topped with a crab cake. *Cue stomach ache* The whole time I kept thinking about all the things that I might want later for my birthday, and the cost of the purse, and how guilty I felt for letting that amount of money go toward something that I know is frivolous. There are starving children for crying out loud! *Takes another huge bite of mushroom and portabella..* 

That was it. The purse was going back. I marched back into the outlet store and returned that beautiful black bag that I held on to for only a couple of hours. Letting it go was sad but lifted a heavy weight from my chest. After all, I just made $150 shopping!! I know its a twisted idea, but returns are ++ money. If there is one shopping technique I love, it was given to me by my brother's former fiance; if it cost $20 and you wear it 20 times, its free! If that's true, then returning items you already bought means you made money. Its that simple. That being said, I could run out and buy that new wireless router I needed guilt free and still ask for a new COACH purse for Christmas, because I really do like the one I have and if I don't actually go to the store to buy it, its OK, isn't it? I argued on behalf of cheap purses for years and was tricked into loving the good stuff. I'm forever a snob now.

Purses are not my only snobbish addiction.  I hate cheap coffee, cheap mascara, cheap lipstick, cheap chocolate and cheap food. If I'm going to drink coffee, I want it to taste like it just came out of the plantation (or the Starbucks). If  I'm going to go out for dinner, I don't want it to be kind of OK. I want it to be the best meal I've ever eaten. If  I'm going to buy lipstick, I don't want it to make my lips flake off and disappear in half an hour.  I know I should be grateful that I even have these things and shouldn't be such a borderline bitch about it but damn,... chicken shouldn't taste like fish and look like a pancake. Coffee shouldn't have a sheen (there's that word again) or petroleum across the top because it came from a gas station. Mascara shouldn't make your eyelashes fall out because you actually put it on. 

I'm hopeless Charlie Brown, completely hopeless. I try to be the good green girl but I'll never be the Goodwill queen. Its just not in me, so for now its reusable bags, compost and chickens. 

Church Loser

I am a church loser. I didn't used to be. I used to be really good about getting up and hauling my three clean and beautiful children every Sunday. We even hit the Wednesday night thing for awhile and it was good. Then I had number four and my church went sideways for several reasons. I lost my motivation to get now four semi-clean children in whatever they put on for the morning up and out the door for 8:30 service. Kenny helps when he's home but, lets be honest, my motivation is seriously lacking. 8:30 just seems so early and the 11:00 option is right in the middle of the day. I know, I'm grasping at things here but for the sake of all honesty, I just don't want to go. I don't want to get up and around and leave the house on a Sunday morning. I've lost that fire. *Cue prayers, gasps, and well wishes and Mad Maxes from around the area swarming my house.* Its not a God or Jesus thing. We're still OK. Its me thing.

Awhile back I was listening to Nooma DVDs and Mars Hill pod casts from this really great church in Michigan. Rob Bell was teaching (I hate the word preaching... it sounds so fire and brimstone and well, Mad Max to me. If you don't know who Mad Max is, then you didn't got to college in Indiana. He is a psycho church man. That's him in the picture.) Rob Bell is on my wavelength but I think he may have killed church for me forever. Let me explain.

Mad Max

I listened to the entire Nooma Series that I borrowed from I think my church library. They were doing them in Sunday School classes and then there were the Mars Hill pod casts. He was inspiring me to do things that I really felt good about and really made sense in the world. It wasn't fidgeting and wondering how much longer the sermon was going to be because I was into it. I was wanting to go out and save the world with Jesus in the driver's seat. I was charged up! This was one of my favorites...



I was seeing things the way that I really felt connected to. Hearing about how blessed this country really is compared to the rest of the world in actual numbers and statistics was jaw dropping. I knew I had it good, but whoa. Now I knew what needed to change and WHY it needed to change. It changed my perspective on my entire life and what I believe. It make me more tolerant and more willing to go out and say what I think. This is where the conflict comes in. I'm conservative, aren't I? I mean I was... maybe I'm not... maybe I don't want to be ... or maybe I do. I don't know what I think about any of it anymore. I'm only sure of one thing and that's that I still need God somewhere in my life.

I read this article on CNN awhile back. (I'm sure you're shocked.)
Anne Rice leaves Christianity
I'm not exactly sure how I feel about this, but I understand where she is coming from. I don't know that you can leave Christianity and not leave Christ but the part about not being able to understand is very there for me. The part about following Jesus and not a bunch of people makes complete sense. So much that it scares the very  conservative part of me while the liberal half of my brain is doing cartwheels and throwing confetti.

So, I've been thinking and feeling supremely guilty for not being in church yet again this Sunday morning. I slept in, had a chaotic morning of cleaning and breakfast. I Prayed for my family and friends and the world while I was outside playing with the dog and Erin. I had a sincere appreciation for the sunshine and having my kids at home and I still felt terrible for NOT being in church. Its this guilt thing and its not just church, but it is Sunday after all. I know I need to have my kids there and that's what kills me, but why isn't it enough to motivate my lazy arse into getting out of bed and to church? Whats it going to take?

Go ahead and tell me what you think. *Ducks*